If there was one thing Id say Im a fan of it would be hot sauces. Any man that wakes up in the morning to find illegible scribblings on their whiteboard that apparently rates their sauces after a night of alcohol fuelled fun is a man I can relate to! To be fair there probably arent a lot of us
Having tasted my fair share of hot sauces
Here are a list of my Top 10 which will hopefully save you hours and hours of pain on the Porcelain Pony. If you think Tabasco Sauce is a bit on the spicy side, this list isnt for you!
Not for eyes, pets, children or wimps!
10. Daves Insanity Sauce
Daves it the original Daddy of hot sauces. Anything that warns it can strip driveways and waxed floors is win all over in my opinion. Coming in at around 180,000 Scovilles, this bad boy isnt messing about, boasting claim to being the only hot sauce banned from National Fiery Foods Show!
Toilet roll in the freezer time? I think so!
Not battery acid, I promise!
9. Bajan Red Hot Pepper Sauce
My old man brought me back a bottle of this cheeky little number from the Caribbean and I must say its pretty bad to the bone. Made from only the finest Scotch Bonnet peppers, it can be estimated anywhere between 100,000–350,000 Scovilles so it is guaranteed to add a punch to the back of your throat just when you least expect it.
Of note is its extremely synthetic appearance its shade of luminous red is as disturbing as its kick!
Over 115 years of Awesome!
8. Franks Red Hot Original
Franks Hot isnt the hottest sauce on this list but it is a firm favourite thanks to the perfect blend of Cayenne Peppers, garlic and vinegar that make it the ideal sauce for coating crispy chicken wings.
Dating back to 1896, it is probably the oldest recipe on the list. It just goes to show that even after all this time its awesomeness speaks for itself.
"Sauce of Terror"
7. Louisiana The Original Hot Sauce
Again, another Cayenne based hot sauce, it markets itself as the sauce that is Not too hot, not too mild and Id have to agree with this assessment.
It is also the Terrorists Firm Favourite Hot Sauce, being the only hot sauce on this list that the US Treasury Department granted the right to sell in Iran, Libya, Cuba and North Korea!
El Ringo Stingo
6. El Yucateco Chile Habanero
Habanero are without a doubt the perfect chilli pepper. Flavour? Awesome. Scoville Rating? 100,000–350,000 units. Appearance? A perky shade of orange that tricks you into believing its a rounded mild pepper then cackles as it proceeds to rape your mouth!
El Yucateco is actually quite a mild Habenero based sauce too at a mere 11,000 Scovilles, but what it lacks in punch, it makes up for in flavour. Highly recommended when you want that distinct Habenero taste but your freezer for toiler roll is on the blink!
Best of the range
5. Nandos Extra Hot Peri-Peri Sauce
Whilst Nandos have an Xtra Extra Hot Sauce, it is actually the Extra Hot Peri-Peri which is the best in the range.
Peri-Peri chillies have a great taste and the extra hot variety is always the first to run out at BBQs in the summer at our house. Epic in a toasted pita bread with some rubbery cheese and half a beef burger!
Chases its own tail too...
4. Mad Dog Inferno Hot Sauce
There are definitely hotter hot sauces in the Mad Dog range, but my personal choice is the Inferno sauce. Made with Jalapeño peppers, it ranks at 90,000 scovilles which is plenty hot enough to get your mouth excited, but just right to allow that great taste to come through.
If youre feeling insane, you might want to check out the Mad Dog 44 Magnum range at 4 million Scovilles strictly to be used as an additive and not a sauce though!! I cant stress that enough!!!
Evil to the core!
3. Daves Ghost Pepper Jolokia Sauce
You know this sauce is going to be painful when it mentions the worlds hottest chilli pepper, the Ghost Pepper Naga Jolokia, weighing in at 1 million Scoville
The strange thing with this sauce is it doesnt immediately get you. Whether it be there is a limit to how much human taste buds can be affected by capsicum, or whether the sauce itself is actually some master of disguise, the Ghost Pepper Jolokia Sauce didnt really hit me until about 30 minutes after I had eaten it, but when it did, boy did I feel it.
For the next week I felt the affects of this body cleansing liquid and it completely put me off food for at least two. Treat this maniac with the respect it deserves!
Highly recommended for those trying to diet however
It comes in a coffin for heavens sake!!
2. Blairs Ultra Death Sauce
Nothing prepares you from Ultra Death.
Nothing saves you from Ultra Death.
Ultra Death is going to take you on a journey of discovery. You will meet the Chilli Fox and He will make you his bitch. You will try and save yourself with milk and He will laugh at you. You will reach for the ice cream and He will melt its sweet salvation as it enters your mouth. Your only salvation is time and the eventual release of His grip on your insides. It will punish your body like its never been punished before and youll love it Every. Single. Time.
Now thats a hot sauce!
No Monkey Business here.. this is the Real Deal!
1. Psycho Monkey
Produced by spicymonkey.co.uk, the chances of you having every tasted Psycho Monkey Sauce are slim to none but I can personally guarantee you struggle to find a better hot sauce out there!
I was first introduced to it by a good friend who picked up the series of Evil Monkey, NinjaMonkey and Psycho Monkey from a local farmers market and after the first hit I was hooked! Honestly, I crave this stuff in the middle of the night and get moments of its magnitude in my mouth like lucid drug flashbacks its that good.
I would liken its heat level to a sore tooth; once you touch it, you wont be able to stop poking at it. Unlike the Insanity sauces, Psycho Monkey is so perfectly balanced that it leaves you satisfied with that heat punch, but wanting to go back for more of that gorgeous flavour when your palette has cooled enough.
Its also an au natural sauce, so you wont find any horrible preservatives, flavour enhancers or added heat in there. It wont keep as long, but once youve had your first taste, youll understand why that doesnt matter!
Psycho Monkey definitely deserves the number one spot on this list, and a big shout goes out to the guys at spicymonkey.co.uk for bringing it to us!
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